What You Say Matters
Unearthing The Cultural and Emotional Impacts of Disclosure on Latine Survivors
Written by providers and students, these scenarios draw on the experiences of Latine survivors with intersectional identities to illuminate how survivors' stories become silenced within cultural communities.
Context
These scenarios were written by providers and community members based on the experiences of Latine survivors with intersectional identities disclosing to their communities. The scenarios aim to make visible how survivors' stories become silenced in cultural communities. As you read, reflect and consider: how can we move closer to empowering survivors at the point of disclosure?
These scenarios highlight:
the emotional labor of disclosing
the impact of a response
the cultural, gender, sexual and age dynamics and barriers at play
how loved ones, parents, friends and professionals can support a survivor at the point of disclosure with an empowering response.
Note: These dynamics can be very heavy to read. Please make sure you resource yourself and take breaks as needed.
Here are additional resources, if you feel you need extra support. Refer to the Group reflection guidelines, if you want to review with a team.
Directions
Read the scenarios and then use the following questions to reflect.
Reflect in a journal (Head, Heart, Why):
Head: What connections come up?
Heart: What feelings came up?
Why: What questions do you have?
Does this scenario resonate with your experience? If so, how? If not, what are some responses that you have seen in your cultural community?
What are some of the Cultural Dynamics & Barriers that are present in the scenario? Some include victim blaming and denial, family loyalty and shame, internalized beliefs, language and trust and many others.
As you read, ask yourself: What responses are empowering, minimizing, controlling, and gatekeepers?
If you are inspired, take a moment to write scenarios reflective of your cultural experiences.
Why write a What You Say Matters scenario?
Using the Survivor Support Guide framework, I was able to create my own scenario that highlights and honors my community, specifically the intersection of LGBTQ+ identity and Latinidad. As a Trans Latina woman, these ideas lie very close to home. I chose to write my scenario because I wanted to reflect on something that is often left unspoken in our communities.
For a long time, in my experiences growing up within this intersection, people like me often encounter a grave amount of suffering that could be prevented through different forms of communication in our families and circles.
Certain negative responses around identity or experiences are so commonly heard across our community; it becomes normalized and almost even expected. Because of this, so many of us grow up learning to stay quiet and to delay parts of our truth just to preserve connections and not rock the boat.
Through learning this framework, I was able to break down and understand just how crucial it is to be heard and respected at the moment of disclosure. When we respond to disclosure with judgment and let factors like machismo guide our reactions, we create a disconnect within our own families and circles. We all have the power to rewrite those outcomes and make a change starting with what we choose to allow from here on out.
Going through this process, I learned that empowerment is not something abstract, but something we actively participate in. It is in the way we listen, the way we respond, and the way we choose to center the person in front of us over judgement and fear of what others may think. I learned that this change does not have to start on a large scale; it can start in our own conversations within our own families. It can start by calling out speech and behaviors that are harmful within our close circles, and by challenging the narrative that this is “normal” or just a part of our culture.
It has been such a meaningful experience to learn from this framework because I can now truly see for myself how collective change starts in moments like this through scenario building, when we sit down, reflect, and realize the potential we have to stop harmful cycles from continuing on.
—Niko Rosales
Sample Scenarios
Here are sample scenarios, written by providers, advocates, and professionals interested in supporting Latine survivors at the point of disclosure. They wrote from their own experiences, and imagined hypothetical empowering responses.
Take a moment to reflect and write a scenario of when you or someone you know disclosed.
Telling my mother I was SA after I was put into treatment hospitalization, and after I got out, I was questioned and was trying to be forced to talk about what happened although I was not comfortable discussing it with my family.
A mom who was concerned about her husband going to Mexico to bring his mom as she was sick. She feared her husband facing their daughter’s abuser. She and her family distanced themselves from her husband’s sister without an explanation. The sister on multiple occasions asked her brother to tell her why the sudden shift in their relationship.
A cousin shared that she had been inappropriately touched by an uncle, and I didn't know how to help her.
A woman dreading her engagement to someone she loves. The fear comes from the future wedding guest list and how to tell her parents to not invite her abuser who she didn't disclose to them as a child, but now felt she wasn't allowed to not invite him and have to have him at her wedding because he is the son to her mother's closest sister.
Disclosing with mom to being sexually assault by an uncle and feeling being accused of misinterpretation and being told to forget about it.
Do you remember what response you/they received when you/they disclosed? Write an empowering response that you/they deserved in that moment.
The mother could have responded by stating, “I am here for you. I am ready to hear you speak when you are ready. You do not have to tell me anything that you are not comfortable with.”
The husband refused to tell his sister as he honored his daughter’s decision not to share what happened to her with the entire family (her son sexually assaulted his daughter in their own home). Allowing their daughter to share her story when she is ready.
Response to the cousin: “Thank you for telling me. I believe you. How can I help you?”
Response to the woman: “This is a hard situation and I’m sorry that you’re having to worry about all of this during a time that should be joyful. You shouldn’t have to have your abuser at your wedding. Can I help you talk to family about it? I want to support you however I can. No matter what happens, I’m going to be with you.”
“Thank you for sharing this with me and I am sorry this happened to you. I will try and support you through this in whatever way feels comfortable for you.”
Niko Rosales
